Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

h1

From LA – Shooter Jennings and Stephen King Exclusive!

February 16, 2010

With just two short weeks until Shooter Jennings releases his masterpiece, Black Ribbons, I wanted to highlight the album’s narrator, Will O’ The Wisp. The character, voiced by acclaimed novelist Stephen King, is a late-night talk-radio host who painting an apocalyptic picture of what America could become in the not-so-distant future. Please share this info with your readers in anticipation of the album’s release on March 2nd.

“Tonight I’ve chosen to play the one band the American Fascicrats don’t want me to play. Tonight I’m going off the air with the music of Hierophant. For those of you not familiar, you’ll get a taste of Hierophant’s music tonight – their message, their light.”
-Will O’ The Wisp

The Black Ribbons album represents the last hour of Will O’ The Wisp’s final broadcast before the airwaves are overtaken by “government-approved and regulated transmissions.” In retaliation for his muzzling, he speaks his mind like never before, punctuating his rants with selections from the discography of Hierophant. Throughout the album’s 14 songs, Will O’ The Wisp offers his loyal listeners—from whom he is about to be permanently cut off—the unvarnished truth.

At its core, Black Ribbons, is a concept album about truth—searching for it, locating it, wrestling with it and eventually coming to terms with it. From the opening track (and lead single) “Wake Up!,” a pummeling psychotropic stomp that sets the album’s tone, to the synth-injected paranoiac anthem “When The Radio Goes Dead,” this elliptical narrative takes the listener on a harrowing, life-affirming and altogether rapturous journey.

With Black Ribbons, Shooter Jennings has created something true to himself, to his art and his beliefs. Sonically, it draws from Jennings’ disparate influences—the Beatles’ White Album, Skinny Puppy and Ministry to Lynyrd Skynyrd and Black Oak Arkansas. At the same time, it forms an intensely personal song cycle, as this young artist probes his own roiling psyche and the tumult of modern-day existence.

Shooter’s homemade Black Ribbons commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktm5btMpU_w

Wake Up! Stream:
http://www.idesignprod.com/shooterjennings/audiostreams/WakeUp.asx

h1

We’re Back! And In Need Of Serious Website Help (obviously)…

December 13, 2009

Ahhh. I am writing to you reborn. Reborn after a nightmare of domain stuff as we tried to upgrade to a “real” website addy and, in the process, losing touch with the very readers we tried to amaze as we grew up to be hosted as a non-wordpress dotcom. Well we realized that we like being here just fine and that the world of techno-babble and web hosting is not meant for the, well, anybody really. So, with that said, are there any techno freaks that want to help us grow into an appropriate new home? We have money!

So, yes there have been posts. In fact, a LOT has been going on! So we will be sharing with you all of the incredible new music and contests, giveaways, and so on. We have Lo-Pro and Nonpoint on tap for interviews. We’ll post their goodies next.

We love being back! We also love Hiromi Oshima. Here is a naked picture of her. She is so hot that I have little pains near my face when I see her. Like, near my eyes. Yeah. Oh, that’s the infection. OK. Shhh….

-MEPS

Hiromi Oshima Makes Japan Look Like an Island

h1

I Thought I’d Share A Sample of the Email That Is Delivered to Students in Law School. Humor is Not a Required Course, You’ll See.

October 12, 2009

Dearest friends:

Muhammad Ali  once said, “Champions aren’t made in gyms.  Champions are made from something they have deep inside them—a desire, a dream, a vision.”  By extrapolating  Ali’s maxim, one thing becomes abundantly clear:  Rutgers Law will win the UVA Law Invitational Softball Tournament on April 9-11, 2010.  It’s a FACT.  I mean, look around you.  Everyone still has desire (… to get find a job before the REPO man comes rap-tap-tapping at your chamber door);  everyone still has a dream (… it’s called “Barrister’s Ball,” or, “Buddy Mixer with Cumberbunds”);  everyone still has vision (… or can regain it through successful Lasik surgery, natch).   Thus, despite our (read: MY) ill-fated workout regimens, we are the champions.

But it will be no bed of roses.

No pleasure cruise.

I know what some of you are asking yourselves (and yes, I hate this rhetoric device too):

1. “But Jorge, how do I get involved with the 2010 Intercontinental Co-Ed Softball Juggernaut that is Rutgers Law Softball?”  Simple, Bro Montana.  Fill out the attached registration form and bring a $30 non-refundable deposit to the UVA Softball Table in the atrium.  Or you may choose to fill out the form at the table.  We will start tabling regularly from next week through Thanksgiving break.  You must register before Thanksgiving break if you want to attend. The total cost of the trip will be about $100 ($70 after deposit) for new players and $75 ($45 after deposit) for returning players.  These prices are subject to change (read: D-to-the-rizzop) depending on our collective fundraising efforts.  This cost includes: a 2 day stay at the wonderful Days Inn of Charlottesville, VA; a mesh Rutgers Law Jersey; and tournament registration*.  We strongly encourage 1Ls to attend.  Get your briefs done a few days early because you DO NOT want to miss this trip.  I know that it’s a little pricey, but it’s easily the best event of the year.

2. “But George, I’m not that good at softball.”  Listen, chief.  This is a FUN-raiser.   Besides, every team needs some Miguel Cabrera.  Follow instructions above.

3. “No, but seriously Hore-hay, I don’t want to play softball.”   Well, if you’ve read this far into the e-mail despite not wanting to play, I want to let you in on two secrets.  (1) My name is Jorge.  (2) I want you to break out that scarlet war paint and come anyway.  Far too often we forget what the softball trip is about—making contact.  And I’m talking about more than ground-rule doubles.  In ten years, when we’re at the Bar (Association events) together we’re not going to look back and talk about how awesome that ALALS bake sale** was.   No.  We’re going to talk about how awesome it was when [REDACTED] totally [REDACTED] in [REDACTED]’s [REDACTED].

The gauntlet has been lain.  The fields have been reserved.  All that’s left is your participation.

For New Jersey.  For Rutgers.  For “the Gipper.”  Let’s make it happen.

With love and squalor,

Jorge Estrada
J.D. Candidate, 2010
Sent on behalf of the Rutgers Softball Team

h1

“I Like Nuts” A Musical That Makes People Wish My Parents Were Sterile

June 15, 2009

h1

Too Many Female Superheros (heroes?)

December 27, 2008

Chemically, the world has set up enough danger to mint a new bill.  If we were all heroes, there would have to be more than half women (lesbian shows,  duh!).  That brings me to my thingy:  Would we be able to make up that many female superhero names?  Help me as I try…

SuperWoman

WonderWoman

CatWoman

She-Ra

Murder Mermaid

Endless Menses

Bumpy Torso

Bitchinator

Hillary Clinton

Pink Devil

Scarbie

Rainbow Fright

Ninja Bitch

Perfumaniac

Bride of Damnation

Meat Hooker

June Cleaver!

Sister Sinister

Killy Ripa

Daughter Slaughter

Sister Dark Fang

Shiny Smells Nice Stabber

Hairdo Fire

Electric PMS

G-Spot A-Bomb

h1

Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny ::clarification::

November 30, 2008

I have received concerned emails from readers.  Females, hopefully… who are aghast at the fact that there may be a part of nakedEric that smells “funny”. 

Here’s the rub (pun intended) – Does something funny (usually) make you smile?  Well, then say it this way as you listen to my hit single ‘Kiss Me Where it Smells Funny” – Think “Kiss Me Where it ‘makes you smile’”

By “funny” I didn’t mean “bad”.  Guys know what I mean.  Silly girls…

-NE

h1

Jimmy Fallon To Take Over Conan’s Show. Ratings Practice Diving Skills.

July 25, 2008

 

The Future Of An Ex-Host

The Future Of An Ex-Host

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here by saying that Jimmy Fallon isn’t funny.  Girls like him because they think he’s dreamy, but he has never really earned the tag “funny”.  Well, in a move that shows this small detail is of little significance, Lorne Michaels dubbed him the successor to the throne of Conan O’Brien.  See, Conan will be taking over The Tonight Show when Leno retires (soon).  Fallon will then take over Late Night With Conan O’Brien.  No plans for changing the name have been mentioned.

 

Por que?  I, along with many other humans, like to preserve the humor now somewhat present in the selection of night show clowns.  By the way, isn’t it amazing that Letterman is still alive?  Anyway, Fallon will complete the Carson Daly-ing of Late Night.  We will now be subject to mild talent relying heavily on cue-cards to pull laughs to accent the canned tracks played on TV.  We will see how this pans out.  I have low expectations here, kids.  What do you think?

Here’s an article for some real journalism on the story (from E!):

 

Fallon Falls Into Late Night With Nightly Webcasts

By Gina Serpe Mon Jul 21, 7:22 AM PDT

 

Jimmy Fallon is going to log a little more time on NBC’s farm team, working under the hope that practice makes perfect for the Late Night host-in-waiting.

 

Lorne Michaels, the executive producer of the house that Conan O’Brien built, has revealed plans for his successor to hone his late-night shtick with five or six months’ worth of online webcasts prior to his TV debut in the post-Tonight Show slot.

 

The online shows will come in advance of Fallon’s spring 2009 takeover and, presumably, will help work out the kinks that, back when O’Brien first started out, nearly rendered the then-untested host DOA on the airwaves.

 

“Conan needed time to find his show,” Michaels said of the one-time David Letterman successor. “I think this will help Jimmy to do that.”

 

The five- to 10-minute webcasts, which will likely debut online, will “help define what the show looks like,” Michaels said, while allowing for more experimentation.

 

“It will let Jimmy do stuff you don’t normally find on television,” said Michaels, adding that the show won’t necessarily take advantage of the less policed medium. “I think we’re our own censors.”

 

Another benefit, planned or not, is that the show will allow Fallon a foothold into a younger demographic, something competitors Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Kimmel have been encroaching on with more persistence in recent months.

 

The webcasts will be daily, posted online at 12:30 a.m., in the five-minute window between the end of the Tonight Show and the beginning of Late Night, “so people will begin to look for Jimmy at that time,” Michaels said.

 

Although NBC’s website seems the natural place for such an endeavor, Michaels said he’s unsure where the segments will premiere.

 

 

 

Click here to see another side of this issue. It’s very super.

h1

Does The Rev. Jesse Jackson Want Rip Barack Obama’s Balls Off?

July 10, 2008

Reverends don’t say the “f” word. Nor do they openly support a public figure, then attack him when he, unknowingly, speaks his mind in a not-so-dead mic before an interview on health care. Both of those previous statements, apparently, are super false! Yeah! The Reverend did say these terrible things, according to FOX News. He even held a press conference to “clarify” his statements. I guess he thought “clarify” meant give an inane lecture apropos for History 101 which was cause for the requisite sleeping listeners. Amazing. He supports Obama in public, then curses him violently in private? Could Reverend Jackson be a…HYPOCRITE? Time will tell. Stay tuned.

h1

The NakedEric Book Store Is Now OPEN!!!

July 4, 2008

OMG! The NakedEric Book Store is OPEN!!! Click here and get stuff. I am happy. Are you happy? Please be happy. If not, do drugs. Or buy a kitten and throw it away when it gets old and fat. Mine got so old it stopped licking itself and grew dreadlocks. I’m not kitten’ – Ha Ha. Great pun there… Seriously. No, but click on this. Now.

The New NakedEric BookStore!

h1

Right?

June 17, 2008

Make it look like purple.  Like.  Not all about real.

In a sense, you’ve missed the gist

I work daily to heal the whoops and end up in the down.

where is the savior when I look around?

why do I ask questions for no other reason than its look on a blinky screen?

miracles abide.  Hours go by as I struggle to take my time.

I’m fine.  Heros notwithstanding I fall to my feet.

Stop for a minute an look at the face you’ve wriggled into for today’s

social marathon.  27 miles of “why am i doing this”

start a business and start a fight.

in the end, your capacity for rhetoric

will always make you right.

right?